Being a mom is...
...hearing "what's for breakfast/lunch/dinner" at least three too many times per day (depending on the head count of your family) :-)
...knowing when your 3 year old points to the menu and says she wants a crabby patty she means she wants a hamburger.
...using the word "turd" in the most loving way possible... and letting your 3 year old think you said "turtle" and not turd.
...playing along with dad when he tricks your almost 9 year old boy into thinking if he eats watermelon seeds he will grow a watermelon in his stomach.
...ignoring that your 3 year old mysteriously starts coughing after asking to have a cough drop and being told she doesn't need one.
...internally debating if your 11 month old has had her eyes closed long enough for you to walk away from the crib.
...laughing hysterically when you realize why your daughter was yelling "Hey, that was the zebra" at the TV over and over as your were flipping through and she heard Chris Rock narrating his show "Everybody Hates Chris". (Chris Rock was the voice of Marty the zebra on Madagascar)
...actually liking foam flooring that goes together in puzzle peices and only comes in primary colors.
...admitting that you really do want a mini van.
...deciding its ok every now and then for your kid to have a wipe bath instead of the real thing or have cereal for dinner.
...realizing this is the last "firsts" you will ever experience with a child.
...being able to share the good, the bad, and the funny with just about anyone who feigns interest.
...feeling blessed for all the love and special moments in your life.
Showing posts with label motherhood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label motherhood. Show all posts
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Monday, September 8, 2008
The Mom Factor - she'll always be better than me
There is this thing I'm going to label the Mom factor. It's the pressure you feel to live up to the standards that you grew up with. Liekly standards that your Mom set up. This encompases things such as eating, grooming, and housekeeping habits, culture and time management habits, organization, discipline (of self and children). This factor is MUCH more discernable to female offspring than to males. This factor will drive you crazy, make you feel inadequate, cause you to become unreasonably defensive, and otherwise wreak havock on your self-esteem and cause you to question your abilities.
THIS FACTOR HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR MOTHER!!!
My Mom is not to blame for me feeling this way. Not that there aren't times that she says or does things that do make me feel this way... but her intent is not to belittle me... in fact she goes out of her way to try not to offend me.
To my mom I say:
I'm sorry you feel like you have to walk on eggshells to keep from offending me. BUT, take it as a compliment because I think the reason I get so defensive is because I feel like I could never do things as good as you do - and I can't stand that fact. I feel all this pressure to live up to standards that just aren't do able for me.
It's wierd, to be such a smart cookie sometimes I feel so totally inadequate and hopeless. I wonder if I am really as smart, strong, hard working and good as I think I am.
My point is - I think a lot of women feel this way. With all the pressures of motherhood, being a full time employee, having a house and a husband to care for, and trying to at least get a shower every few days it's easy to get lost in all the things you can't get done instead of seeing all the things you did accomplish. So, I need to start patting myself on the back more for what I do. And I need to quit taking out my own self-doubt on my mother. Mom's of grown children get a bad wrap... some deserve it, but I'd say not most... I think it's our overachiever competitive natures that get the better of us... and our pride... and not our Mom's.
You are the best Mom... and no, I won't ever be as good as you (unless you are trying to do anything with something electronic).
THIS FACTOR HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR MOTHER!!!
My Mom is not to blame for me feeling this way. Not that there aren't times that she says or does things that do make me feel this way... but her intent is not to belittle me... in fact she goes out of her way to try not to offend me.
To my mom I say:
I'm sorry you feel like you have to walk on eggshells to keep from offending me. BUT, take it as a compliment because I think the reason I get so defensive is because I feel like I could never do things as good as you do - and I can't stand that fact. I feel all this pressure to live up to standards that just aren't do able for me.
It's wierd, to be such a smart cookie sometimes I feel so totally inadequate and hopeless. I wonder if I am really as smart, strong, hard working and good as I think I am.
My point is - I think a lot of women feel this way. With all the pressures of motherhood, being a full time employee, having a house and a husband to care for, and trying to at least get a shower every few days it's easy to get lost in all the things you can't get done instead of seeing all the things you did accomplish. So, I need to start patting myself on the back more for what I do. And I need to quit taking out my own self-doubt on my mother. Mom's of grown children get a bad wrap... some deserve it, but I'd say not most... I think it's our overachiever competitive natures that get the better of us... and our pride... and not our Mom's.
You are the best Mom... and no, I won't ever be as good as you (unless you are trying to do anything with something electronic).
Monday, September 1, 2008
Feel like sayin' sumthin
So I have no specific topic or intention in mind with this blog... I just felt like writing. Right now I'm sitting here with my beautiful 3 year old daughter... she is watching Dora and right now is sitting on the arm of the chair because she has to be this (-->x<--) close to me. Which is fine... Ry is sleeping so I've been able to get in some good one on one time with my KK.
Ya know, it's amazing having more than one kid... its like you think you could never love another child as much as you love your first, but then another comes along and it totally amazes you. There is no way I could ever choose between the two... I love them both the most. And although Mr. T isn't even blood I couldn't possibly love him any more. The human capacity to love goes far beyond what you can imagine... if you just open your heart to it.
So today we are going to Dad's... KK calls it "water day" because Papa D has a pool. I love going over there and getting in the pool with the kids. I can't wait to take KK to swim lessons... I haven't called about it yet though, and I really need to.
Well, I hear Ry so times up. Let me go get hubby and Ry and and then KK and I are going to play some games on the computer and then get ready to go to Dad's.
See ya'll later! Have a good holiday... back to work tomorrow. uuuggghhhh!
Ya know, it's amazing having more than one kid... its like you think you could never love another child as much as you love your first, but then another comes along and it totally amazes you. There is no way I could ever choose between the two... I love them both the most. And although Mr. T isn't even blood I couldn't possibly love him any more. The human capacity to love goes far beyond what you can imagine... if you just open your heart to it.
So today we are going to Dad's... KK calls it "water day" because Papa D has a pool. I love going over there and getting in the pool with the kids. I can't wait to take KK to swim lessons... I haven't called about it yet though, and I really need to.
Well, I hear Ry so times up. Let me go get hubby and Ry and and then KK and I are going to play some games on the computer and then get ready to go to Dad's.
See ya'll later! Have a good holiday... back to work tomorrow. uuuggghhhh!
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Confessions of a working mother
I'm a writer at heart. I only wish I had more time to devote to this passion of mine. But, as it is, most days my mind is so overgrown with the daily to-do's and just keeping the status-quo of life that I just can't find the energy to put pen to paper much less find a quiet spot in my head to even contemplate a topic of interest. Counting poops and pees, measuring ounces of breastmilk as if they were liquid gold, endless searches for engineers to fill an impossible job description, and listening to the repetitive clamor flowing from my 3 year olds mouth is what fills my days. With a tiny 975 square ft of living space and 3 kids, we struggle with keeping the house minimally filthy. It seems the laundry piles are never ending and the trash is constantly over-flowing. It's a wonder my husband and I even have our sanity. In the quiet moments when we've "hatched a plan" to have some husband-wife time and it actually works out we try to savor every moment. Meanwhile, I have delusions of grandeur rotting in my brain while my talent for words wastes away. Such is the life of the average working mom… to much to do to tend to personal quests of self-fulfillment. But, parenting does require a degree of selflessness and sacrifice. So, I've resigned to the fact that I will probably be in a nursing home suffering from dementia before I'll ever have the time to devote to this hobby of mine, and by then it will be a moot point because I won't have any recollection of all the cute things I've always wanted to put on paper.
This is the daily dialogue in my head. There isn't possibly enough time to do all the things one would want to accomplish. I spend more time doing things I don't want to do so I've have the money to do things I have to do and then have nothing left to do the things I enjoy doing. Is that any way to live life? But, this is the reality of most American families these days. Life in the fast lane… we live longer, work harder, make more money, and enjoy life less. Pity.
This is the daily dialogue in my head. There isn't possibly enough time to do all the things one would want to accomplish. I spend more time doing things I don't want to do so I've have the money to do things I have to do and then have nothing left to do the things I enjoy doing. Is that any way to live life? But, this is the reality of most American families these days. Life in the fast lane… we live longer, work harder, make more money, and enjoy life less. Pity.
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