Have you ever given someone advice and as you are giving it you get smacked in the face with it? Sometime we need to take our own advice. Thank you Lord for helping me to see that beam in my eye while trying to help someone else get a speck out of thiers!
Here's the advice - take it for what its worth in any given situation you may have going on. I hope the Lord speaks to you in it.
When you get to the other side – whatever the outcome may be – you will certainly be able to see God's hand in everything and know that all along he was guiding you, controlling everything, protecting you, and doing what was best for His child. That doesn't help much now but just know that no matter the outcome you will have reassurance and comfort knowing its best and it is God's timing – because let me tell you, if we had control over timing of everything we would screw so much up! But I know you know that. :-)
Just make sure you are reaching out in the right place – because God and your faith are right where you left them… sometimes its doors that we choose to go through and close behind us that close us off to our faith and our connection to God. I've been there. Traps that we tend to fall into and have back track to get out of. My trap is commitment and time… I get so far away from Him before I even know it because I stay so busy. Before I know it He's 3 days away through several doors of frustration from work and hurt from other individuals. If I had stuck with Him I would have been able to get through those things the right way instead of taking the grim path… know what I mean? I'm not saying any of that applies to you – that is just my experience as an example. All I'm saying is God is in all this somewhere… but it's a daily thing to keep Him with you... you have to be purposeful about it because He can't go anywhere you won't take Him. He can't handle anything you won't hand over to Him.
Blessings,
Mrs JD
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Nesting
So I went into nesting over drive last night. I get home with KK after her doctors appoint and Cameron comes to pick her up... no 2 year old to wrangle and I'm thinking "Hmmm, what can I get into???" I COULD just sit down and relax... but OMG there are so many things to be done before this baby comes. And so it begins.
I started in the kitchen unloading the dishwasher, reloading, washing pots and pans, scrubbed the sink and a cast iron trivet that was rusted, etc etc. I ran some water to mop the floor but then decided I should do the bathroom first. I make my way in there and I'm just disgusted at the site of my dingy old tub. Out comes the Clorox Cleanup... and I begin the task of scrubbing the tub and the tile surround. I hear a quick horn beep like the alert sound when you lock your doors with the remote and I panick while thinking to myself... My husband is home and if he finds me like this he is going to kill me!!! I decide to hop out and let the Clorox clean up sit and do its job.... but I know that no amount of scrubbing or soaking is going to get it back completely white... let's face it, it's the original cast iron tub that was put in this house when it was built in the 40's. UGH! I'm resigned to it simply because I can't refinish the darn thing myself without a trip to Lowes and a couple of days without a shower. I move on to mopping the floor.
In the middle of all this somewhere I managed to wash a few loads of clothes. I then decided I wanted to put together a shelf I bought to go over the sink. I get out the power drill and peice it together while sitiing at my kitchen table... which no longer has clothes sitting all over it (between my fantabulous husband and I we have been tackling that this week!) I certainly don't feel like sweeoping... I HATE sweeping and lets face it, there is NO way I could get down there to sweep up the inevitable pile of dirt and trash once I'm finished - I decide to let my husband vaccum the kitchen when he gets home... yeah, vaccuming is his thing and I'm totally happy for it because I can't really stand that chore either. And we just got a new snazzy and super filtered Tri-Star vaccum... I say "Go for it hubby!"
KK gets home and I'm wiping down counters but I can tell I'm slowing down... my back begins to ache. My husband makes it home from school about 8:15 and I didn't get the scolding I expected... but he did insist on running me a hot bath to soak. So, he rinsed the tub and ran the water and while I was soaking away he finished up what I hadn't gotten to. The alst thing I did before crawling into bed last night was mop the kitchen floor.
Sadly, when I got up this morning I couldn't help myself and I had to put all the little bathtub shelving back up and put things back in thier place. I just couldn't leave it there sitting on the back of my toilet and scattered around the sink. BUT, the house looks great and I feel so much more prepared to bring a child into this world. Let's hope we can keep things straight for the next couple of weeks!
I started in the kitchen unloading the dishwasher, reloading, washing pots and pans, scrubbed the sink and a cast iron trivet that was rusted, etc etc. I ran some water to mop the floor but then decided I should do the bathroom first. I make my way in there and I'm just disgusted at the site of my dingy old tub. Out comes the Clorox Cleanup... and I begin the task of scrubbing the tub and the tile surround. I hear a quick horn beep like the alert sound when you lock your doors with the remote and I panick while thinking to myself... My husband is home and if he finds me like this he is going to kill me!!! I decide to hop out and let the Clorox clean up sit and do its job.... but I know that no amount of scrubbing or soaking is going to get it back completely white... let's face it, it's the original cast iron tub that was put in this house when it was built in the 40's. UGH! I'm resigned to it simply because I can't refinish the darn thing myself without a trip to Lowes and a couple of days without a shower. I move on to mopping the floor.
In the middle of all this somewhere I managed to wash a few loads of clothes. I then decided I wanted to put together a shelf I bought to go over the sink. I get out the power drill and peice it together while sitiing at my kitchen table... which no longer has clothes sitting all over it (between my fantabulous husband and I we have been tackling that this week!) I certainly don't feel like sweeoping... I HATE sweeping and lets face it, there is NO way I could get down there to sweep up the inevitable pile of dirt and trash once I'm finished - I decide to let my husband vaccum the kitchen when he gets home... yeah, vaccuming is his thing and I'm totally happy for it because I can't really stand that chore either. And we just got a new snazzy and super filtered Tri-Star vaccum... I say "Go for it hubby!"
KK gets home and I'm wiping down counters but I can tell I'm slowing down... my back begins to ache. My husband makes it home from school about 8:15 and I didn't get the scolding I expected... but he did insist on running me a hot bath to soak. So, he rinsed the tub and ran the water and while I was soaking away he finished up what I hadn't gotten to. The alst thing I did before crawling into bed last night was mop the kitchen floor.
Sadly, when I got up this morning I couldn't help myself and I had to put all the little bathtub shelving back up and put things back in thier place. I just couldn't leave it there sitting on the back of my toilet and scattered around the sink. BUT, the house looks great and I feel so much more prepared to bring a child into this world. Let's hope we can keep things straight for the next couple of weeks!
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
"I big girl! I big sisser!"
The time is getting closer (just 5 more weeks) and there is more and more buzz in the house about Ry's impending entrance into the Dorough family. KK's latest announcement any chance she gets: "I big girl! I big sisser!" Everyone finds this extremely endearing. I wonder how endearing it will be when she starts announcing where Ry came from... thank heaven I'm having a C-Section! The maternity coordinator at the hospital yesterday told me how her child announces all the time that her mommy pushed her baby sister out of her hiney. Out of the mouths of babes!!!
Over the weekend John put together the bassinet and we now have it settled in our room. KK was quite excited by the site of all the little parts and peices on the floor as Daddy put it together. She looks, examining each part carefully and then comes to me and says "Dat mine? Dat all mine?!" While waving her hand over the pile of parts in the floor. I giggled and said "No, honey, that's Ry's bed. Daddy is putting it together so she will have a place to sleep when she is born." Her eyes light up (apparently the thought of a new sister is even better than the thought of a new toy) and she says "Oh, dats Ryyeee's bed?". "Yes, honey, that's Ry's bed."
Thing go back to business as usual and she did get to see the final product before going to bed. She pops up the next morning and her first question is "Where Ryyeee's bed?" I explained that it was in our room where she would sleep until she is ready for a crib. I reminded her of when she was in a crib and she went on to have some extended conversation about that that I didn't particularly understand. :-)
The day goes on, she goes to school and I to work. When I pick her up and get home she tells me she is going to go play while I'm in the kitchen making dinner. I hear her holler "Turn on yites" (lights for those who don't speak KKese). I tell her she's a big girl she can turn on the lights. A minute later I hear "Mommy! I see Ryyeee?" I walk back there and see her standing in front of Ry's bassinet in my room (she was asking if she could turn on my light in my room, not hers, lol). She has this excited grin and she says again "I see Ryyeee?!"
Needless to say, it made me laugh, but I managed to explain that Ry is still growing in mommy's belly and it will still be a little while before she is born and will sleep in her bed. She is terribly excited about seeing her baby sister.
KK still insisted on checking Ry's bed out again last night... I guess she just wants to make sure everything is still in place for the arrrival of her sister. Afterall, she is "big sisser" and has to look out for the little one. Sheesh I love that little girl!
Over the weekend John put together the bassinet and we now have it settled in our room. KK was quite excited by the site of all the little parts and peices on the floor as Daddy put it together. She looks, examining each part carefully and then comes to me and says "Dat mine? Dat all mine?!" While waving her hand over the pile of parts in the floor. I giggled and said "No, honey, that's Ry's bed. Daddy is putting it together so she will have a place to sleep when she is born." Her eyes light up (apparently the thought of a new sister is even better than the thought of a new toy) and she says "Oh, dats Ryyeee's bed?". "Yes, honey, that's Ry's bed."
Thing go back to business as usual and she did get to see the final product before going to bed. She pops up the next morning and her first question is "Where Ryyeee's bed?" I explained that it was in our room where she would sleep until she is ready for a crib. I reminded her of when she was in a crib and she went on to have some extended conversation about that that I didn't particularly understand. :-)
The day goes on, she goes to school and I to work. When I pick her up and get home she tells me she is going to go play while I'm in the kitchen making dinner. I hear her holler "Turn on yites" (lights for those who don't speak KKese). I tell her she's a big girl she can turn on the lights. A minute later I hear "Mommy! I see Ryyeee?" I walk back there and see her standing in front of Ry's bassinet in my room (she was asking if she could turn on my light in my room, not hers, lol). She has this excited grin and she says again "I see Ryyeee?!"
Needless to say, it made me laugh, but I managed to explain that Ry is still growing in mommy's belly and it will still be a little while before she is born and will sleep in her bed. She is terribly excited about seeing her baby sister.
KK still insisted on checking Ry's bed out again last night... I guess she just wants to make sure everything is still in place for the arrrival of her sister. Afterall, she is "big sisser" and has to look out for the little one. Sheesh I love that little girl!
Thursday, January 31, 2008
I'm not sure why I bother...
... trying to be friendly with people who are known gossips and backbiters. I keep telling myself to just keep my mouth shut and don't engage in personal conversations with these people... but I can't help myself! I'm just the kind of person that is friendly and wants to converse. I could slap myself for constantly walking right into this void because I know how much it confuses and hurts me to find out people are taking a conversation among "friends" and using it to demonstrate thier own insecurity by blabbing (and often misrepresenting fact) to people who were NOT involved in the conversation.
From now on when someone that is not family or a close personal friend asks me about my personal life, my pregnancy, my family, or anything unrelated to the business at hand I'm determined to politely change the subject...
From now on when someone that is not family or a close personal friend asks me about my personal life, my pregnancy, my family, or anything unrelated to the business at hand I'm determined to politely change the subject...
Thursday, December 13, 2007
To feel this way
((This is a blog I didn't publicly publish at the time. Looking back, I think it's good writing and decided to share the raw feelings that bubbled up at that time.))
I know what loss is like. I know how it feels - that empty hole feeling in your heart... and the taste of salty tears on your lips. I know how it looks - red faced and swollen. It smells like peace lillies and fresh cut carnations.
This time it's not me but the one's dearest to me dealing with the loss. It seems unfair that someone should have to experience such things at such a young age. But we are human and mortal. We cannot live forever.
There has been a lot of loss this year. Thank God for the good things between. But right now I can't help but hurt for the people I love. I'm distressed and out of sorts. I feel so unprepared and vulnerable. But mostly right now I can't shake the feeling that I'm somehow "that woman" that came into JD's life and took over. I don't know why and it's selfish of me to even be thinking of myself right now. But I somehow feel alienated... not overtly, it's very subtle. I'm probably just being insecure.
The sinking feeling hit me most when I realized that even as JD's wife I'm not expected at all to be around for anything dealing with Nette's funeral. Even JD said "I understand if you can't take time off". How much does that suck?
Anyway - right now it's not about me, so I'm ending my pity party right now.
I know what loss is like. I know how it feels - that empty hole feeling in your heart... and the taste of salty tears on your lips. I know how it looks - red faced and swollen. It smells like peace lillies and fresh cut carnations.
This time it's not me but the one's dearest to me dealing with the loss. It seems unfair that someone should have to experience such things at such a young age. But we are human and mortal. We cannot live forever.
There has been a lot of loss this year. Thank God for the good things between. But right now I can't help but hurt for the people I love. I'm distressed and out of sorts. I feel so unprepared and vulnerable. But mostly right now I can't shake the feeling that I'm somehow "that woman" that came into JD's life and took over. I don't know why and it's selfish of me to even be thinking of myself right now. But I somehow feel alienated... not overtly, it's very subtle. I'm probably just being insecure.
The sinking feeling hit me most when I realized that even as JD's wife I'm not expected at all to be around for anything dealing with Nette's funeral. Even JD said "I understand if you can't take time off". How much does that suck?
Anyway - right now it's not about me, so I'm ending my pity party right now.
Saturday, December 1, 2007
What I'll never understand
Well, the holidays are here and it's that time of year where everyone (well, ok, not everyone) is feeling merry. I tire of the cold weather quickly (especially when I see the heating bill) but there is something about the cool crisp air when it first starts to come around... it seems so invigorating. This year will be so different for my family now that JDand I are married. This time last year we were dating... and I had no idea he intended to propose so soon. How's that for perspective?
Everything is bustling and things are really coming together at my house. With Mom and Capelli combining households with Granny I have inherited a lot of cool stuff... which of course we have to make room for in this tiny 2 bedroom house. With things so crazy on that front I haven't been able to put up the Christmas tree or any decor yet... but we are going to try to start on that this evening. I hate being limited o what I can do... if it weren't for being prego I'd get up in the attic and get the tree down myself!!! I wentand bought 4 new stockings yesterday that I plan to dazzle up a little. I don't know how yet and I have NO idea where we will hang them - but those are just minor details. :-)
With all the holiday spirit it still amazes me that people find the time to be so self centered and shallow. That is something that no matter the time of year I will never understand. I recently saw the movie "Mean Girls" for the first time... I cracked up at a particular scene about the leader of the mean girl group because it totally pegged some people I know. And I have to wonder why they would want to live such a miserable existence. Wouldn't you rather surround yourself with people you can truly trust and rely on and have healthy thriving relationships as opposed to always wondering where you stand with someone, what they are saying behind your back, what you have to do next to get some attention, and desperately trying to make yourself feel better by making others look/feel bad? What is the attraction in that?
But for me I have to say... I just can't worry about others so much. People are going to choose thier paths, and I may never understand it, I may not like it, and some times I may even be hurt by it. But I'll continue to move on and live in happiness and love - the only way I know how.
I pray that you find happiness and love - and harmony - during this Christmas Season. And take more than just a moment to remember what it is all about - the birth of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
My Best to All!!!
Mrs JD
Everything is bustling and things are really coming together at my house. With Mom and Capelli combining households with Granny I have inherited a lot of cool stuff... which of course we have to make room for in this tiny 2 bedroom house. With things so crazy on that front I haven't been able to put up the Christmas tree or any decor yet... but we are going to try to start on that this evening. I hate being limited o what I can do... if it weren't for being prego I'd get up in the attic and get the tree down myself!!! I wentand bought 4 new stockings yesterday that I plan to dazzle up a little. I don't know how yet and I have NO idea where we will hang them - but those are just minor details. :-)
With all the holiday spirit it still amazes me that people find the time to be so self centered and shallow. That is something that no matter the time of year I will never understand. I recently saw the movie "Mean Girls" for the first time... I cracked up at a particular scene about the leader of the mean girl group because it totally pegged some people I know. And I have to wonder why they would want to live such a miserable existence. Wouldn't you rather surround yourself with people you can truly trust and rely on and have healthy thriving relationships as opposed to always wondering where you stand with someone, what they are saying behind your back, what you have to do next to get some attention, and desperately trying to make yourself feel better by making others look/feel bad? What is the attraction in that?
But for me I have to say... I just can't worry about others so much. People are going to choose thier paths, and I may never understand it, I may not like it, and some times I may even be hurt by it. But I'll continue to move on and live in happiness and love - the only way I know how.
I pray that you find happiness and love - and harmony - during this Christmas Season. And take more than just a moment to remember what it is all about - the birth of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
My Best to All!!!
Mrs JD
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Loss
Experiencing the loss of a loved on is a very personal and individual matter. In all my 26 years I have learned that each person grieves in thier own way. Some quietly, some not so quietly. But everyone needs thier time to grieve the loss of someone they've loved so much for so many years. Some grieve very privately and in the face of things are the strong rock that others need in order to get through. Some grieve very openly and need to lean hard on those around for comfort. The greatest thing I've seen is how a family pulls together to comfort and protect eachother in such a time of loss.
My Granddaddy passed away yesterday. It was a very hard loss for me but also very welcomed. It's hard to feel such relief and grief all at the same time. But I'm so thankful to have had him in my life for 26 years and even more thankful that he is no longer suffering and is in Heaven with our Lord. To know the depth of his love was the greatest gift ever... to be moved by his words in his last days was a comfort. You see, each Grandchild held a special place in Granddaddy's heart - and we all felt very close to him and very special in our own right. We each have a story to tell about the Granddaddy that we knew and loved.
For me, being the first Granddaughter, I was a little princess - doted over and very well taken care of. Granddaddy told the story many times over the years, and in his last days as well, of how he promised my Mom when she was pregnant with me a new air conditioning unit if she had a girl. We got the air conditioning unit and it was installed before I even came home from the hospital.
I will miss Granddaddy and his white haired wisdom. I'll think fondly and often about how he used to "beard" us. I'll forever be grateful that he left this earth knowing that I'm well taken care of by my husband - and he didn't have to ask anymore "Are you married yet?" I've been hearing that since my teen years! I'll say my daughter-to-be's name and think of him and the legacy that he has left for her to live up to. So many things to cherish that he left us all with. For now for every smile on my face there is a tear in my eye as I ponder the change in my life now that he is gone. Time will pass and seasons will change - and he will always be missed - but as my heart heals I'll be able to smile and have tears of joy rather than sadness whenever I think of Granddaddy.
My Granddaddy passed away yesterday. It was a very hard loss for me but also very welcomed. It's hard to feel such relief and grief all at the same time. But I'm so thankful to have had him in my life for 26 years and even more thankful that he is no longer suffering and is in Heaven with our Lord. To know the depth of his love was the greatest gift ever... to be moved by his words in his last days was a comfort. You see, each Grandchild held a special place in Granddaddy's heart - and we all felt very close to him and very special in our own right. We each have a story to tell about the Granddaddy that we knew and loved.
For me, being the first Granddaughter, I was a little princess - doted over and very well taken care of. Granddaddy told the story many times over the years, and in his last days as well, of how he promised my Mom when she was pregnant with me a new air conditioning unit if she had a girl. We got the air conditioning unit and it was installed before I even came home from the hospital.
I will miss Granddaddy and his white haired wisdom. I'll think fondly and often about how he used to "beard" us. I'll forever be grateful that he left this earth knowing that I'm well taken care of by my husband - and he didn't have to ask anymore "Are you married yet?" I've been hearing that since my teen years! I'll say my daughter-to-be's name and think of him and the legacy that he has left for her to live up to. So many things to cherish that he left us all with. For now for every smile on my face there is a tear in my eye as I ponder the change in my life now that he is gone. Time will pass and seasons will change - and he will always be missed - but as my heart heals I'll be able to smile and have tears of joy rather than sadness whenever I think of Granddaddy.
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