Saturday, August 12, 2006


One thing I am sure of at this point in my life is that authenticity, above all things, is important. Being authentic about who you are, what you believe, what you want, etc etc. Most of all, being authentic with God. After all, if you're not he knows it, and it only serves to further the divide in your relationship with him... or any relationship for that matter.

On that note, I have strove to be authentic in presenting who I am to anyone. I don't know that for the most part I have gotten that in return. I'm struggling with the fact that people tend to be so fake. Just say what you mean and mean what you say. And remember that when your mama told you "If you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all." that she meant just what she said - don't say anything... at all - not "make up something to make the person feel good." Can I get an amen?!

Authenticity means that no matter what a person may think about me in the end it is more important for me to be who I am than who they want me to be. It means that my list of friends is on the short end, but that list of friends are authentic friends, one's who will be there for me no matter what. No drama, no alterior motives, no manipulation... my get real, no guts no glory, wholehearted, lifetime friends. I think I rather like it that way.

Authenticity also means that I don't wear the masks that many others do. I don't play the games. I don't attempt to be the person I think someone will like or manipulate others with my actions. I do and say what I think necessary to convey my thoughts and feelings, no more, no less. This can put me at a disadvantage more so than I think I had realized because people say they don't want to play games but they still go around doing things to get reactions and waiting on the persons next move.

It can be shocking when you run into someone who is authentic in a world full of fakes, because I'm not hiding my imperfections and flaws. But this is my thought on the deal... get it out there, be real, and if someone doesn't like you for who you really are then you're not wasting your time. I'm not about to apologize for being imperfect, face it, we all are. And I certainly will not apologize for being the person that God made me. I fully believe that if you can't be authentic before the people you care about most then you have much less of a relationship with them than you think, because they don't know the real you.

It's been a difficult road to this place in my life and I'm sure there are difficulties to come. Until recently I would like to have thought that the hardest lessons were behind me, but God has certainly pointed out to me that that is not the case. But he has promised to give me grace needed to handle whatever besets me until then, and even beyond.

So, I will continue being authentic. And if someone doesn't find me endearing or attractive or want to be friends with me, that is ok. I just want authenticity in return. If that means someone walking out of my life soon after they walk in, so be it. It's like waxing vs tweezing, the tweezing only draws out the inevitable and plucks away at you, while waxing gets it over with quick. I vote for waxing!


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