The Lord never ceases to amaze me. He has been so good to me spite my defiance. He continues to show me mercy and patience that I don't deserve. My lack of faith hasn't deterred him from his faithfulness to provide for Makayla and I. Yet here I am in the midst of so much change wondering what to do.
Is it really as simple as saying a prayer? You mean to tell me that all I have to do is ask You for guidance? So, You're saying that what You said in Your Word is true? --Wow, what a concept!!! How easily I forget.
It's engrained in my mind like a data on a hard drive, you never really can get rid of it... but how often I fail to put it into practice:
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will direct your paths." Thanks Stephen K for suggesting to read 1 chapter in Proverbs a day over and over... how wise!
OK, so people, seriously... pray for me. I'm currently house shopping and I want to make the right decision. Pray that the Lord will give me wisdom and discernment. Pray that I will listen for him and hear his wisper in my heart. He knows my desire to have a home of my own. But it may not be his timing now, so pray also that I will seek after his will and not my own.
What else??? I'm not sure. I had alot going on in my mind when I began this blog but it all seems to have been lost. That's what I get for trying to watch the news and type up my blog at the same time.
I was thinking today how excited I am about the new bible study we are starting for the Summer. I absolutely love Beth Moore. Her testimony and how God has used her has really been a blessing and speaks to me. She is truly annointed. We are starting her Daniel bible study this week. I just hope that I will be able to consistently find someone to watch KK for me on Thursday nights. Surely the Lord would not want me to miss out on this?
Yet another thing to consider, I've recently discovered some continuing ed classes offered online thru Darton for HR professionals that I would like to take. They are only 6 weeks long, and I would absolutely love to do it, but when I think of my days and how crammed they already are I can seem to possible justify it. Who will take care of Makayla while I try to do school work? (Well, I know who won't, but that is another blog in itself) How many of my precious few hours with her will that take up?
It seems to me that there are too few hours in the day. now, I'm not doubting the Lord's creation plan, but I'm non-stop untile at least 1am every night, and I'm lucky to have 3 nights that I get to sleep without disruption. And... it's all me... so I don't even have someone to complain about not getting up in the middle of the night or taking turns changing the poopie diapers. I wouldn't have it any other way, I absolutely adore my daughter, and I am quite aware of the reason I am in the situation I am in. But it just gets so blah sometimes. I wish I had someone to not only share the middle of the night duties, but also the great moments when she does the cutest, sweetest things in the world, or lays there sleeping peacefully with her little bottom hiked in the air and her little abdomen gently rising and falling.
Well, being that KK is asleep in her room I am on the laptop in the living room. The battery is going dead so it is goodnight and farewell for now.
God bless you all!