Friday, May 26, 2006

A walk down memory lane

I'm going blind into this tonight without a thought as to what I'm going to write about. I haven't even entered a carefully thought out subject. I did a big long blog last night and as my luck would have it I hit submit and got the good ole "Page cannot be displayed". UGH! Back button wasn't much help, the form was blank when I went back to it. All my great thoughts right down the crapper!

I wrote all about how badly it stunk to be without a computer for a week. After 4 good years it crashed on me. I lost everything. So I had to replace the hard drive. But you know what, I'm not going to write about that because I simply can't recreate the verbiage with the elloquency with which I did it the first time. So hhhhmmmppph!

Whooohooo! It's Friday night and I'm just living it up sitting here in front of my computer with nothing better to do. Er... I have no social life! Well, at least not outside of KK, and an exchange of raspberries and baby babbling isn't what I would consider enlightening conversation. My gracious how I love her, but a mommy can't survive on baby talk and baby talk alone!

I wonder sometimes if I'll ever really date again. How in the world am I supposed to even meet a potential date? I don't exactly see a perfect mate coming from a Mommy and Me play session. The grocery store??? Nah... there's just too much comment on produce squeezing. Hmmm, where else do I go??? Well, church is always a good way to meet people, and if you want a good Godly man... well, it's not 100% but it's your best bet. But I am in an all ladies Sunday School class, and I don't see that changing after the havok in the single ministry... I will not being going back there. Besides, church is about God, I don't want to be distracted by a guy.

B is off in Spain... gotta love the Navy. Not that things were all that great before he left. We did kiss and make up the night before he left, but I think that was more to make him feel better and relieve a guilty conscience than anything else. If it makes him feel better I suppose.

There's one guy I've thought about often lately... I think myspace brings back alot of memories for me from my high school days. Mom told me it would come back to bite me in the butt, and it has as of late. I dated this one guy that I went to prom with my senior year. Sweetheart! Biggest heart a guy could have, and not bad looking either. Of course, at that time I had not learned to appreciate the sweet ones and thus in my eyes he became "too sweet" and "clingy" after the newness wore off. We had an earth shattering break up when I decided that I wanted to be "cling free" when I went off to college in which he tried over and over again to get me to reconsider. He was truly heartbroken according to reliable sources (including his Mom, brother, and one our closest mutual friends).

Nowadays I figure he has probably grown into a fine young man (he went into the Marine Corp). I talked to him just after I moved back to the Bany, over a year after we broke up, and he was still pining over me a bit. Doh! What did I miss? He was a good Christian boy. We sang together at church, he wrote me sweet poetry and love songs, he mowed the lawn and took out the garbage so I wouldn't have to (it was just Mom and I my senior year) and called me every night after work to ask if I want him to bring me anything (Pizza Hut, lol, iot's my favorite to this day).
Although, there was one thing about him that I never shared with anyone - well, about our relationship. He was so giving in his time and efforts in showing that he cared, but when it came down to it he specifically told me there was something holding a piece of his heart back. So while he did all the right things, to hear him say it, his heart wasn't all in it and he couldn't commit at the level that I wanted... that is until I pulled the plug... then of course he was ready to give all he had. Just like a man!

I have no idea where he is today. I would love to talk to him... just see what he's been up to and how life is treating him. And maybe just maybe see what I missed out on. It might be more crow than I'm ready to swallow. Where is Montel Williams when you need (for his reunion shows he's famous for of course... not the paternity test ones, lol).

Well, I'm going to ditch for now. I want to get up early and be domestic and cook up some pancakes, eggs, and sausage. It's becoming a Saturday morning tradition for me.

Be blessed,


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